Outlast
by GothicViolet
Summary: A Survivor parody I wrote starring the characters of Invader Zim


Outlast  
  
By Jessica Black  
  
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Author's Note: Here's another cruddy fanfic from the weird little mind of ME. I typed this up at 3:00 in the morning when my brain was not functioning correctly, and if you don't like it, please don't flame me. I do not own Invader Zim or anything, it all comes from the creative mind of Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
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Announcer: Hello, and welcome to Outlast, a show where only the strongest survive. Today we are stranding four people in a closed-down consignment shop. Who will make it in the end?  
  
The contestants:  
  
Zim- Crazy green kid who wants to enslave the earth.  
  
GIR- Zim's pet dog and taco lover  
  
Dib- Young paranormal investigator with an enormous head  
  
Gaz- Dib's easily annoyed little sister who brought her gameslave along for entertainment  
  
Only one of these people will outlast the others. They will be stranded for 28 days, and each week someone will be voted off. And now, for OUTLAST.  
  
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DAY 1  
  
Zim: I WILL FIRST CONQUER THIS CONSIGNMENT SHOP WITH MY IRON FIST! *points to Gaz* YOU! OBEY THE FIST!  
  
Gaz: Leave me alooone… *plays her gameslave*  
  
Dib: You'd better watch out Zim! With my intelligent knowledge of science, I can outlast all of you and go home with the prize.  
  
Zim: What is the prize anyways?  
  
Dib: …. I dunno.  
  
GIR: *knocks down all the clothes racks* WHERE ARE THE FLYING HAMPSTERS? WHEEEEEERE ARE THE FLYING HAAAMPSTERS?  
  
Gaz: rrrr… *goes and sits in the corner of the shop away from the other three*  
  
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DAY 3  
  
Zim: *yawn* So… bored… need… energy soft drink…  
  
Dib: *sits on the counter with his arms cross* I'm not bored a single bit.  
  
Gaz: *on the 57th level of her game* DOESN'T THIS PLACE HAVE ANY AIR CONDITIONING? IT'S GETTING DAMN HOT IN HERE!  
  
Dib: It did, but that stupid dog of Zim's broke the generator!  
  
Gaz: rrrr.. *goes over to GIR and kicks him, sending him flying into a bunch of Hawaiian shirts*  
  
GIR: WHOOOOOOOOO THAT HURT!  
  
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DAY 5  
  
Dib: *rolls over* bored… bored… dying….  
  
GIR: … I'M GONNA SING THE DOOM SONG NOW! Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doomey doomey doom doom doom doooom! DOOM DOOM doom doomy doom doom dooooooom. Doom doom doom doom!  
  
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DAY 7  
  
*Everyone is sitting there motionless. They're too bored to even speak (except GIR)*  
  
GIR: doom doomey doom doom doom! DOOMEY DOOM doooooooom! Doom doom doom doom doom DOOM!  
  
Announcer: HEEEY how are you guys DOOOING?  
  
Zim: WHO ARE YOU, EVIL ANNOUNCER MAN? AND WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT ME HERE? WHYYYYY?  
  
Announcer: Well it's fun to watch young people suffer from DOOM.  
  
Dib: Where is your voice coming from anyways? This place has no speakers.  
  
Announcer: …I dunno where my voice is coming from. But that's unimportant. It's tiiiime to VOTE SOMEONE OFF!  
  
*everyone writes a name on a sign*  
  
Dib: *holds up sign* GIR… *faint*  
  
Zim: *holds up sign* GIR.  
  
Gaz: *holds up sign* GIR…  
  
GIR: *holds up sign* DOOM!  
  
Announcer: Then it is decided! GIR, you are voted out of the shop. GOODBYE!  
  
*a giant boot comes out of the wall and kicks GIR out of the shop*  
  
GIR: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
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DAY 11  
  
Zim: *fast asleep on the counter*  
  
Dib: so… bored! Going… CRAZY! *runs and starts pressing buttons rapidly on the cash register*  
  
Gaz: CASH REGISTER? This place has a CASH REGISTER? *opens it up, and finds MOOLAH inside* WOOHOOOO! I'm ordering out! *dials the phone and orders from bloaty's pizza hog, and in 2.5 seconds the pizza is at the door*  
  
Zim and Dib: *smell the pizza* PIZZAAAAAAAA! *dive at it*  
  
Gaz: *yanks pizza away* NO! I HAVEN'T EATEN IN WEEKS!  
  
Zim: Well neither have I! NOW HAND OVER THE PIZZA!  
  
Dib: NO! IT'S MINE!  
  
*they all dive for the pizza and wrestle for it, until suddenly Zim slips on the pizza and it flies out the window*  
  
Gaz: O_O LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO OUR ONLY FOOD!  
  
*and more fights break out*  
  
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DAY 14  
  
Annoucer: Hey how ya doin?  
  
Zim: rrrrrrrr…  
  
Announcer: It's time to vote someone off again!  
  
Dib: Why must you keep bugging us like this?  
  
Announcer; Hey, it's my job. Now VOTE!  
  
Gaz: *holds up sign* Zim. HE LOST OUR PIZZA!  
  
Dib: *holds up sign* Zim…  
  
Zim: *holds up sign* Dib, Oh crappit…. *gets booted out*  
  
  
  
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DAY 19  
  
Dib: *lays there looking very weak*  
  
Gaz: Dib.... what day is it?  
  
Dib: Hopefully Day 28… I'm ready to die here…  
  
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DAY 21  
  
Announcer: HEEEEY contestants do you know what TIME IT IS?  
  
Dib: Time to finally give us something to eat.  
  
Announcer: Uhhhhh…. No. IT'S TIME TO VOTE OFF THE LAST PERSON AND SEE WHO WINS! Of course, we all know that you're both going to vote for the other person, so we may have to hold a chess competition or something like that. TIIIIIME to vote!  
  
Gaz: *holds up sign* Dib.  
  
Dib: *holds up sign* Me… *faints again*  
  
Announcer: Then it is decided! Gaz, you WIN Outlast!  
  
Dib: ughhhhh… *gets kicked out of the store*  
  
Gaz: *snicker*  
  
Announcer: *walks in* Hello winner! Congratulations, you have outlasted all the other crazy people and WON! Your prize is…  
  
Dubbed over voice: Adhesive medical strips.  
  
Gaz: WHAT? Just THAT? I thought it would be a new game or one million dollars or something! RRRRRRRRRR… *chases after announcer* You're gonna PAY!  
  
Announcer: …… I hope I get paid for this. AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *runs*  
  
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Announcer: *while running* Well, that's our show, tune in next time when the scary monkey goes against pigfoot on OUTLAST.  
  
THE END  
  
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